Fingering my Core Wounds

I AM TIRED

I am tired of being the one who has always got a smile on my face. The one who props everyone else up or attempts to hold them together with a million plasters, covering up their wounds and issues. I am tired of giving out advice, for it to fall on deaf ears and for them to smear their tears across their face, apologise for crying, and come back a week later for it all to happen again. I am tired of being that person in the family, where they think they can say what they want, or ignore my feelings, because ‘I am the tough one’. I AM TIRED. I am tired of picking up the mother-fucking pieces.

TODAY, I showed up. I showed up for myself, because I realised the reason I am tired is because I have not looked after myself. I have failed to put healthy boundaries in place. I have allowed people to take too much of me. I HAVE ALLOWED myself to be used as a shining bloody beacon making sure everyone else is ok. Today, I start the real work. I take each and every core wound that triggers me and I deal with, and I am doing this, because I am tired of people fingering my core wounds. My lack of self-protection has enabled all those around me whom I love, and who love me to trigger me in ways that internally send me insane. And it is no one’s fault but my own. The SOONER we all realise that we are responsible for our own happiness, mental stability and capability, the better. If someone is triggering you…look at your wounds.   Trace it back, why do you feel like this. Take the challenge, that the interactions we have with people are an opportunity for growth, not for them to piss you off. And….if you are being triggered and you truthfully cannot see a reason why, and this keeps happening….be realistic they are probably just an arsehole. 😉

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